I felt compelled to share this, not because I have a wish to tell my story, but because I have a desire to help others if I can.

My name is Clare Cannon and I hold a permit to train four horses. I have had a good year with my runners but the year started under a cloud.

My permit is no cheaper for me than it is for a trainer with 60 plus horses, and I have relied on winning prizemoney in the past to help keep my small yard going. Thankfully, since 2015, Coreczka with her seven wins had justified my licence fee.

I had given Coreczka a break and so I had a quiet winter with no runners. The winter was long and horrible and I tried to explore other opportunities. These included applying for multiple grants for a diversification project for the farm, but I was getting rejected every time.

I convinced myself that I was finished with racing and was going to be known as the person who used to have that one good horse, namely Coreczka. My negativity and low moods were so severe that I went to the doctor several times. When I couldn’t get any help there I reached out to the Industry Assistance Programme through Horse Racing Ireland and thankfully I received the help I needed.

The counsellor I was offered was brilliant; she helped me recognise that my negative thought patterns were unjustified and taught me how to break them. When I finished the last of my six sessions with my counsellor I managed to come home and scramble together one more grant application that was closing that same day.

May came around and Innamorare started to run well. I went on to have a great summer with her and it was a dream come true to get a Leopardstown winner, and then to get another with her at the same venue was hard to take in. That last grant application I applied for got approval and I finally was able to get my farm project off the ground, with thanks to The Ireland Fund.

I have named this project Behind The Stable Door. I have always believed that we are blessed to have a special relationship working with horses, a relationship we take for granted a lot of the time. Behind The Stable Door allows disadvantaged people or those with disabilities or learning difficulties to come to my farm once a week and work alongside me for a few hours, just assisting me in doing what I do every day.

It may slow me down fractionally but what is a couple of hours out of my week when I am told that the time these people get to spend here amongst the horses is the highlight of theirs? I have started building Facebook and Twitter pages for Behind The Stable Door and in 2019 I hope to also have a new website to help grow the profile and concept of this project.

I was clearly wrong to start the year believing I no longer belonged in racing and it was all over for me. If I needed reminding of this I got it again last Friday night at Dundalk when Tomwontlisten won to the delight of her owners. I was at Kirkistown point-to-point the next day and I was overwhelmed by the number of people congratulating me.

I know I will always be a small fish in a big pond, but I believe that four track winners and €43,500 in prizemoney won so far in 2018 with a four-horse permit is doing well enough and will justify paying my licence fee again for 2019. I may have to wait a while for another winner, but meanwhile if I can have a positive impact on the lives of others less fortunate than myself I feel that I am winning every week, regardless of what happens with my runners on the racecourse.

I would like to thank The Industry Assistance Programme and all the people who have been supporting me throughout 2018. Because of this I can now really look forward to future possibilities both on and off the track.

I want to finish with an important message. If anybody reading this needs to get help please just do so. Racing is a family and I have found that it is a family full of people who want to help you.

Clare can be contacted at clarecannon@hotmail.co.uk