THOMAS Edison is said to have made thousands of prototypes of the light bulb before he finally got it right. In spite of ‘failing’ so often, Edison never let it get the best of him.
Instead, he turned them on their head. All of these ‘failures’ showed him how not to invent something. His resilience therefore gave the world some of the most amazing inventions of the early 20th century; the phonograph, the telegraph, and the motion picture.
It’s hard today to imagine what our world would be like if Edison had given up after his first few setbacks. His inspiring story forces us to ask some pertinent questions. Do we have the resilience that we need to overcome our challenges? Do we let our failures derail our dreams? What can we accomplish if we have the strength not to give up?
Resilience is the ability to adapt and bounce back when things don’t go as planned. Resilient people don’t dwell on failures; they acknowledge the situation, learn from their mistakes and move on. It is said that there are three elements that are essential to resilience:
1) Resilient people view a difficulty as a challenge, not as a paralysing event. They view failures and mistakes as lessons to be learned from, and as opportunities. They don’t view them as a negative reflection on their abilities or self-worth.2) Resilient people are committed to their lives and goals, and they have a compelling reason to get out of bed in the morning. Commitment isn’t just restricted to work but also to relationships, friendships, causes and such as religious or spiritual beliefs.3) Resilient people spend time and energy focusing on situations and events they have control over. Because they focus their efforts where they can have the most impact, they feel empowered and confident. People who spend time worrying about uncontrollable events can feel lost, helpless and powerless. The way that we explain setbacks to ourselves is also important. This, again, is made up of three main elements:
a) People who are optimistic and more resilient, see the effects of bad events as temporary rather than permanent. They might say “my boss didn’t like the work I did on that” rather than “my boss never likes my work.”b) Resilient people don’t let setbacks affect unrelated areas of their lives. For example, they would say “I’m not very good at this” rather than “I’m no good at anything.”c) People who have resilience don’t blame themselves when bad events occur. Instead, they may see other people or circumstances as the cause. “I didn’t get the support I needed to finish that project successfully” would be their reaction rather than “I messed that project up because I can’t do my job.”Positive image
Resilient people have a positive image of the future. They maintain a positive outlook and see better days ahead. Resilient people have solid goals and a desire to achieve them. While resilient people are empathetic and compassionate, they don’t waste time worrying what others think of them. They maintain healthy relationships, but don’t bow to peer pressure.
Resilient people never think of themselves as victims; they focus time and energy on changing the things that they have control over.
Having a resilient mindset is important as it affects how we view adversity. The fact is that we’re going to fail from time to time: it’s an inevitable part of living that we make mistakes and occasionally fall flat on our faces. The only way to avoid this is to live a sheltered existence, never trying anything new or taking a risk. Who wants to live like that?
We should have the courage to go after our dreams. Being resilient means that if we do fail, we bounce back, we have the strength to learn the lessons we need and we move on. Resilience gives us the power to overcome setbacks and live the life we’ve always imagined.
Mindset and attitude
Even if you’re not a naturally resilient person, you can learn to develop a resilient mindset and attitude. Try incorporating the following into your life:
i) Get enough sleep and exercise, and learn to manage stress. When you take care of your mind and body you’re better able to cope effectively with challenges. ii) Practice thought awareness. Resilient people don’t let negative thoughts derail their efforts. They consistently practice positive thinking. Think about how you talk to yourself when something goes wrong. If you find yourself making statements that are permanent, pervasive or personalised, correct these thoughts in your head.iii) Learn from mistakes and failures. Every mistake has the power to teach you something important; don’t stop searching until you find the lesson in every situation. Make sure you understand the idea of ‘post-traumatic growth’. There is truth in the saying that “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger.”iv) Choose your response. Remember, we all have bad days and go through our share of crises. We have a choice in how we respond; we can react negatively or in a panic, or we can remain calm and logical and find a solution. Your reaction is always up to you.v) Maintain perspective. Resilient people understand that even if a situation or crisis seems overwhelming at the time, it may not have much of an impact over the long-term. Try to avoid blowing events out of proportion.vi) Set smart and effective personal goals. It’s incredibly important to set and achieve goals that match your values, and to learn from your experiences.vii) Build your self-confidence. Resilient people are confident that they’re going to succeed eventually, despite setbacks or stresses. This belief in themselves enables them to take risks. When you develop confidence and a strong sense of yourself, you have the strength to keep moving forward and to take the risks you need to get ahead.viii) Develop strong relationships with colleagues. People who have strong connections at work are more resistant to stress, and are happier in their role. This goes for your personal life too: the more real friendships you develop, the more resilient you’re going to be because you have a strong support network to fall back on. ix) Focus on being flexible. Understand that things change and that carefully-made plans may on occasion need to be amended or scrapped.Key points
To summarise, resilience is the ability to bounce back when things don’t go according to plan. The three main elements that resilient people possess are challenge, commitment and control.
You can develop resilience in several ways. First, take care to exercise regularly and get enough sleep, so that you can control stress more easily. The stronger you feel physically and emotionally, the easier it is for you to overcome challenges.
Focus on thinking positively and learn from the mistakes you make. Build strong relationships with colleagues and friends so that you have a support network to fall back on. Finally, set specific and achievable personal goals that match your values, and work on building your self-confidence.