THE equestrian world was greatly saddened by the untimely death on November 8th of Mary Howard (née O’ Donnell). Mary, who was just 44 years old, lived her short life to the absolute max, giving 150% to everything she did.

She loved horses and represented Ireland many times in eventing. She also enjoyed hockey, running, swimming and competed in numerous marathons and triathlons.

Mary grew up on the O’Donnell family farm in Kilsheelan, Co Tipperary, with her late father Billy, mother Marianne and her siblings, Kate and Ed. From an early age, she loved her ponies and became a stalwart member of the Tipperary Branch of the Irish Pony Club.

Her first pony was Misty who was so safe, but so slow, Mary had to work very hard to get her going. Mary was determined and competitive from the start. If you were at any Pony Club competition in her early days you would hear her two fields away roaring at Misty to go faster. Looking at the next generation it is fantastic that her daughter Ciara also has a pony called Misty.

Mary and her siblings did many years of showing and their star pony Crocket was always a favourite with the judges. When they went to any competitions or events, Mary was always the one organising everyone, she had her list and had everything packed the night before.

Mary Howard, nee O'Donnell, at the Young riders European Championships at Waregem, Belgium

O’Donnell greys

The O’Donnell family had many Connemara ponies over the years, so much so that they were known as the O’Donnell greys. Mary and her pony Mogue competed successfully at the Connemara Pony Championships in Oughterard in Galway.

Mary had a very successful partnership with the 1986 grey gelding Phantazia (aka Charlie), the combination first making their mark when winning an individual title at the 1996 Irish Pony Club eventing championships at Ballindenisk. They were also on the winning Tipperary Branch team who travelled to the British championships in Weston Park where they finished 10th. The other team members were James Reilly (Tin A Lin Tin), Dave Myerscough (Snowhill) and Mark Grant (Cusheen Caraway).

Mary and Phantazia competed in Junior eventing for two years and were members of the Irish Young Riders’ team for three years. At the Young Riders’ European Championships in Waregem, Belgium, in 1998, they finished best of the Irish in 10th. The individual bronze medal was won that year by Co Kilkenny-based British international Nicky Roncoroni, one of the many riders saddened to learn of Mary’s death.

The following season, Mary partnered Phantazia to win team bronze at the European Young Riders’ championships at Necarne Castle, Co Fermanagh, where her teammates were the late Sherelle Duke, who won individual gold on Up To Scratch, William Clarke (Gemstone) and Katie O’Sullivan (Cash Flow).

Mary Howard, nee O'Donnell, at the Young rider European championships at Hartbury, England

Determined

In 2000 Mary had a fall at home and ruptured her cruciate ligament. However, she was determined that nothing would stop her competing at that year’s European Young Riders’ Championships in Hartpury, England, as the following entry in her eventing diary testifies.

“Had cruciate ligament replaced in February, straight to Europeans, Charlie in best form ever, taking a hold cross country, unable to get stride short enough for bounce, jumped in too big and fell over second part. All was fine, continued and completed our last Young Rider Europeans! What a horse! One in a million. None of these results would be possible without the constant dedication of my mum, dad and of course trainer all the way Neilus O’Donoghue”.

At this stage, Mary was attending college in Waterford, from which she graduated with a Degree in Sports Science, while training to be a lifeguard. In 2001, she headed to the States, to work as a lifeguard in Martha’s Vineyard for the summer, followed by a year in a similar capacity in Australia. When a friend couldn’t travel with her, Mary undertook the trip Down Under on her own, meeting and making many friends along the way.

When she returned home in 2002, Mary decided to study Occupational Therapy in England. She loved her job and specialised in paediatrics which gave her so much joy.

Her husband Dennis Howard was a rugby friend of her brother Ed. He was driving a tractor on their first encounter when he visited the O’Donnells to help with the harvest one summer. They were married on June 26th 2009, travelling from the church by horsebox to the wedding reception in a marquee at Seskin Farm.

A farmer and vet, Dennis lives in Kildorrery where he and Mary built their own house, close to that of his parents, Bill and Eileen. The move was hard for Mary initially but she made Kildorrery her home (the new sand arena was the first thing to arrive!) and became involved in every aspect of local life – Duhallow Pony Club (where her three children, Will (13), Ciara (11) and Sarah (eight), are members), the school committee, the hockey club, the swimming club and GAA training.

Helping others

She loved nothing more than helping people. Mary welcomed new people to the community, helped those going through a difficult time, helped kids with special needs, helped nervous riders gain confidence, the list goes on and on. She had many nicknames: Smiley, a firecracker, a powerhouse, a Duracell bunny, a dynamo, one in a million.

Just two weeks before she went to hospital, Mary met her mother Marianne and siblings Kate and Ed for a special family lunch in The Cashel Palace Hotel. Mary joked that she would arrive at the front door in her beloved horse lorry but she arrived dressed to the nines and was in brilliant form. They were already planning a Christmas lunch.

Health battle

The O’Donnell siblings were all born with eczema and asthma and, for their first three or four years, their parents spent much time with them at Crumlin Children’s Hospital. When Mary was eight months olds, she stayed for 10 weeks in Crumlin battling through a virus from which she nearly died. Kate was there at the same time but the virus didn’t affect her as badly. Eleven-month-old Mary left hospital weighing just 13lb.

Sadly, just 10 days after that family lunch in the Cashel Palace Hotel, Mary suffered an acute asthma/cardiac episode and spent her last few days in Cork University Hospital. “We would love to say a huge thanks to the incredible medical team in level 5 intensive care unit of CUH,” said Kate. “Every single nurse and doctor who looked after Mary was so kind, caring, professional and had so much empathy. We will never forget that.”

The outpouring of support for her family and the huge turnout at her funeral in St Bartholomew’s Church, Kildorrery, on Monday, November 13th, bore testament to the esteem in which Mary was held by all who knew her and the effect she had on their lives.

“The fields were too wet to park cars so Dennis asked the local Kildorrery GAA club if we could park there and get a shuttle bus to the house,” revealed Kate. “Instead, the GAA club and communities had 30 volunteer drivers to drive people in their own cars up and down the road from the village to their house (for the removal). The parents in the GAA club served refreshments as people arrived at the car park.

“Thousands of people came to her funeral where the Duhallow Pony Club parents and children formed a beautiful guard of honour, as did the Kildorrery GAA club and Mitchelstown Rugby Club. Dennis’ work colleagues from Munster Bovine helped serve people hot whiskeys/port and sandwiches from the house. It was so incredible, emotional and a testament to Mary and what she did for her community.”

– Margie McLoone