I DON’T have children, I have horses. I am however the go-to person to my friends when they need advice on their kids’ pony obsessions. I met with one of those friends for a coffee at the weekend while her children were at the local riding school for the weekly lesson.

“They are saving for a pony,” my friend told me with a very concerned look on her face, followed by: “What am I going to do?” I refrained from belting out: “Ah, just get them a pretty dun one!” Some inner responsible adult woke from its 11-horses-later slumber to stop me.

What do you say though?

My sister-in-law asked for a pony when she was a teen, her parents didn’t have fortunes to spend so they told her she could have a pony if she paid for it herself. Belligerent type - she did just that. She saved every birthday and Christmas envelope for three years and ended up buying her very own pony, eventually making it onto the Irish pony show jumping team. I, on the other-hand, wasbought a pony by my parents.

That one pony turned into four consecutive ponies of varying degrees of lameness or wildness having been purchased for peanuts God knows where. I fell off a lot. A LOT. But the love of them never left. What I suppose I’m saying is that it’s not all bad if your child is saving for a pony, it can lead to wonderful things whichever path the pony comes down.

In the end what I told my friend was this: be honest with your youngsters, let them understand that the initial purchase price of a pony is one thing, but the long-term ongoing costs of caring for and supporting one are another: feed, vet, farrier and livery - if you don’t own your own land.

Tell them winters are long, mucking out is relentless, riding in the lashing February rain is painful, so is falling off. But all of these things build resilience and skills. If they really have the horse bug, these things become somehow part of the joy of it all – you just have to ask your kids if they are ready for that.

Painting jumps

Encourage them to save, it’s never a bad thing to learn to be careful with your pennies is it? Then why not suggest alongside saving and their weekly lesson, perhaps they could volunteer at the riding school doing things like cleaning stables, washing and filling water buckets, feeding horses, or painting jumps in exchange for another riding lesson or time with horses. Most horse lovers I know started that way.

You might be able to find a lease or horse-sharing opportunity. There are people who will let you ride their pony a couple of times a week because they work too much to take their own kids to ride five days a week but they want the animal to stay in shape. Just remind your kids they need to be a reasonably good rider to do this because nobody wants someone who will inadvertently teach their horse bad habits or injure them out of ignorance. All the more reason to listen to their instructors, complete their Pony Club or BHS exams, read the books, watch the videos.

Let them save for the pony, which may become a horse, or which may stay as a childhood dream, either way their journey with horses will always be a positive, responsible, respectful one. You may even enjoy the ride too.