DOING some height measuring sessions made me think on the kinds of people an equine vet meets in the course of certifying matters of concern to them. These might vary from checking racehorse identification, compliance with ‘flu vaccination requirements, enforcement of FEI equine welfare standards to antemortem inspection at an abattoir.

And when the person concerned is paying for a veterinary service that involves certification there’s an additional complication to the vet-client relationship beyond what applies when a vet performs a standard clinical service to an equine under his/her care. Taking pony measuring as an example, there are a few different approaches we commonly encounter.

Occasional duel

The professionals arrive with lorry-loads, they know beforehand what they want and what their chances are of making the grade they seek. They maximise their chances through good preparation and presentation. And generally when they lose the occasional duel they take it on the chin and move on!

Some sorry first-timers present a small horse they’ve ‘just bought for the wee child’ at great expense but ‘just to do the local shows’, clueless that presenting a snorting, eye-rolling beast straight off the box isn’t a wise strategy. The vet’s heart sinks. Some of these are resolved by taking the animal away for acclimatisation, having shoes removed and/or feet trimmed, changing the tone of voice or standing stance. Then the two vets and two measuring sticks look to take a consensus view and reach a final decision.

The cuter owners with a borderline case seek out one of the pros to present the ‘pony’ for them. These guys know that some exercise, time and a relaxing word achieve results on the day. It is usually smaller that the owner wants the pony to measure, though it’s sometimes the case, I find, that the pros want the pony to measure bigger i.e. up toward the top of one of the height categories. I guess a ‘138 pony’ sells better if his passport says he is at least 137 and not 135cm?

Some knowing owners sidle up, casually muttering out of the side of their mouth, ‘This one’s a 14.2 in old money, 148 to you; that’ll do nicely.’ I almost expect to see a folded tenner in the passport!

Some approach determined to instruct the vet what height their pony is, as ‘I measured him myself only today’. These remind me of Cork people confident they have seen off one of the world’s super powers single-handedly – you may have heard the story? When the Russian navy were on manoeuvres off our south-west coast, the good burghers of Bandon sent out their biggest boat to see them off. The admiral-of-the-fleet, on seeing its approach, exclaimed ‘A-Bandon-ship!’, an order relayed, repeated and obeyed without question. History doesn’t report what fate beset the seamen left swimming in the sea or warships wandering rudderless away.

Laser-guided

Sometimes, there’s nothing to be done except put in a height the owner really doesn’t want. The proverbial really hits the fan when they understand that once they’ve presented on the day they cannot go away without a height being recorded. What remains to them is to take the matter to a formal appeal and submit to a laser-guided device, and the best of luck with that!

And then there’s the matter of flu vaccines – if they’ve never had any or are now out of date the vet has to vaccinate the pony on the day. We hear every excuse but if vaccines aren’t entered in the passport, signed and stamped by a vet then officially they weren’t given. Yes mistakes get made, we’re all only human after all and there might be occasions when a vet to vet contact by phone or email resolves the issue. But why bring it upon yourself - much better to arrive with all in order or at the very least, ready to co-operate to have the job done right.